I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
