I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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