party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
