he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
