If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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