I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
