Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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