Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
