just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
