I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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