I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
