PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
