I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
