Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
