if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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