Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
