how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
