I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
