Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
