i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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