How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
