Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
