I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
