he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
