aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sobbing to NWA
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
