my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
