I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
