I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
