It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
