yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
