I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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