That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
