i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
