The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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