does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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