she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
