i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
