Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
