did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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