Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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