We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
