I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
