Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
