God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Randomize
