HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
