dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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