Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
