he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
