All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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