My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
