:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
