Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
