My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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