i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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