So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
