honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
