he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize