so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You can't just leave with hair like that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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